Using Failure To Further Your Future

by Chris Widener

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." Margaret Thatcher Failure. Even the word sounds bad, doesn't it? That is because since the time we were just young children we were taught that failure was bad. But is that true? Is failure bad? Let's consider some things.I like a baseball analogy. Do you know what the record is for a season batting average (That means how many times the batter successfully hit to get on base)? It is a gentleman by the name of Ted Williams and his season batting average was .411 one year. That means that out of 1000 times at bathe would get a hit 411 times. That is considered by baseball fans as one of the greatest records ever. There are players making millions of dollars who hit .280!But what does that stat also tell us if we flip it around? It tells us that the best season any batter ever had in the major leagues was a "Failure Rate" of .589! Even the best fail on a regular basis!What about the richest people on Wall Street? Do they fail? Of course they do. They pick the bad stocks sometimes, but they cut their loses and learn from their failure.Did Michael Jordan miss shots? Over 50% of them!So what about all this? What does this mean for us? The fact is, I think we can learn a lot about failure that will actually make us a great success. So here are some thoughts to help you use failure to further your future!

Failure is inevitable if you are trying for greatness. Failure is something we must accept as a part of the road we travel to success. This is a very important item and number one on the list because a lot of what stops people from pursuing success is their fear that they may fail and not reach their destination. When we embrace the fact that we will fail, and that is okay,then we have nothing to fear anymore. Instead, we keep our eyes open and pick ourselves up, adjust from the failure, and move on.Failure is never failure unless you fail to learn something from it. That's right, we ought to stop calling these bumps in the road "failures" and start calling them "Learning Experiences!" When you fail, the first thing you should think is "What can I learn from this?" If you can pull just one idea out of that question, then the experience was worth it.

Sometimes failure is a blessing in disguise. Just ask the 3M Company. They were looking for an incredible adhesive and actually got a sticky paste that held, but not permanently. What a failure! No, instead, they spread some on the back of little sheets of yellow paper and called them "Post-It Notes."Have some? I'm sure you do. The 3M company thanks you for rewarding their"failure."People won't think poorly of you if you fail. This is perhaps the biggest myth, and the one that causes us to never attempt our dreams. We don't try because of what Aunt Martha may say about us at the family reunion. The truth is, however, that people will actually respect you for trying. The only thing I have found that people think poorly about you is if you handle yourself badly when you fail. Sore losers get the bad press, not people who attempt great things!Failure isn't the end but the beginning. One of our greatest fears is that our whole world will collapse if we fail. Or at least the project will. The truth is that that rarely happens! Most of the time we can pick back up again, make some adjustments and be on our way! This is a new beginning. Now there is no need to go down the road you have already taken, so there is one less option you have to try on your new journey.

Sometimes we miss out on success because we quit in the middle of a problem and it becomes a failure instead of an obstacle we could have persevered through. When people encounter trouble they have a tendency to quit. And then they see themselves as having failed. My question is this: What if they would have kept on going - persevered? Perhaps they would have struggled abit and then broke free again. The failure happened only because they quit!So don't give up - keep pushing - and perhaps you will see yourself through to victory!The greatest thing to overcome is the fear of failure. Most of the battle is right between our ears. It has been said that "we have nothing to fear but fear itself," and that is true because in most of our "failures," the end result is usually much less than we feared it would be. Yet in giving into fear and not trying, we suffer the ultimate consequence - no success!So begin to tell yourself the good stuff! Change the direction of yourthinking and begin to see the possibilities of success, not failure.Remember, properly looked at, failure can help you further your future!

Bonus: Questions to ask yourself when you "fail":What can I learn from this?What did I do right in this?Where did this go wrong?How can I start again?What resources do I need to make sure this doesn't happen again?Then use the answers to these questions to plot your new course.
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Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and achieve their dream ==========================================

Dancing Girl

Tree, leaf in the blue sky 

Sunset in California 

Stress Management

What is Stress?

Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings.
As a positive influence,
à Stress can help compel us to action;
à It can result in a new awareness
à Perceive an exciting new perspective
As a negative influence,
à Stress can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression
à Stress which in turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke.
In so adjusting to different circumstances, stress will help or hinder us depending on how we react to it.

How Can I Eliminate Stress from My Life?

As we have seen, positive stress adds anticipation and excitement to life, and we all thrive under a certain amount of stress.
Deadlines, competitions, confrontations, and even our frustrations and sorrows add depth and enrichment to our lives.
Our goal is not to eliminate stress but to learn how to manage it and how to use it to help us.
Insufficient stress acts as a depressant and may leave us feeling bored or dejected; on the other hand, excessive stress may leave us feeling "tied up in knots."
What we need to do is find the optimal level of stress which will individually motivate but not overwhelm each of us.


How Can I Tell What is Optimal Stress for Me?

There is no single level of stress that is optimal for all people. We are all individual creatures with unique requirements. As such, what is distressing to one may be a joy to another.
And even when we agree that a particular event is distressing, we are likely to differ in our physiological and psychological responses to it.
The person who loves to arbitrate disputes and moves from job site to job site would be stressed in a job which was stable and routine, whereas the person who thrives under stable conditions would very likely be stressed on a job where duties were highly varied.
Also, our personal stress requirements and the amount which we can tolerate before we become distressed changes with our ages.
It has been found that most illness is related to unrelieved stress. If you are experiencing stress symptoms, you have gone beyond your optimal stress level; you need to reduce the stress in your life and/or improve your ability to manage it.


How Can I Manage Stress Better?


Identifying unrelieved stress and being aware of its effect on our lives is not sufficient for reducing its harmful effects. Just as there are many sources of stress, there are many possibilities for its management.
However, all require work toward change: changing the source of stress and/or changing your reaction to it. How do you proceed?
1. Become aware of your stressors and your emotional and physical reactions.

à Notice your distress. Don't ignore it. Don't gloss over your problems.

à Determine what events distress you. What are you telling yourself
about meaning of these events?

à Determine how your body responds to the stress. Do you become
nervous or physically upset? If so, in what specific ways?

2. Recognize what you can change.

à Can you change your stressors by avoiding or eliminating them
completely?

à Can you reduce their intensity (manage them over a period of time instead
of on a daily or weekly basis)?

à Can you shorten your exposure to stress (take a break, leave the physical
premises)?

à Can you devote the time and energy necessary to making a change (goal
setting, time management techniques, and delayed gratification strategies
may be helpful here)?


3. Reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress.

à The stress reaction is triggered by your perception of danger...physical
danger and/or emotional danger. Are you viewing your stressors in
exaggerated terms and/or taking a difficult situation and making it a
disaster?


à Are you expecting to please everyone?

à Are you overreacting and viewing things as absolutely critical and urgent?
Do you feel you must always prevail in every situation?

à Work at adopting more moderate views; try to see the stress as something
you can cope with rather than something that overpowers you.

à Try to temper your excess emotions. Put the situation in perspective. Do
not labor on the negative aspects and the "what if's."

4. Learn to moderate your physical reactions to stress.

à Slow, deep breathing will bring your heart rate and respiration back to
normal.

à Relaxation techniques can reduce muscle tension. Electronic
biofeedback can help you gain voluntary control over such things as muscle
tension, heart reate, and blood pressure.


à Medications, when prescribed by a physician, can help in the short term
in moderating your physical reactions.

However, they alone are not the answer. Learning to moderate these reactions on your own is a preferable long-term solution.

5. Build your physical reserves.

à Exercise for cardiovascular fitness three to four times a week (moderate,
prolonged rhythmic exercise is best, such as walking, swimming, cycling,
or jogging).


à Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals.

à Maintain your ideal weight.

à Avoid nicotine, excessive caffeine, and other stimulants.

à Mix leisure with work. Take breaks and get away when you can.

à Get enough sleep. Be as consistent with your sleep schedule as possible.

6. Maintain your emotional reserves.

à Develop some mutually supportive friendships/relationships.

à Pursue realistic goals which are meaningful to you, rather than goals
others have for you that you do not share.


à Expect some frustrations, failures, and sorrows.


à Always be kind and gentle with yourself -- be a friend to yourself.

Author: Unknown

Is this Full?

One day an expert in time management was speaking
to a group of business students, and to drive home
a point, used an illustration those students will
never forget. As he stood in front of the group
of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time
for a quiz."

Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide mouth mason
jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then
he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and
carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks
would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"

Everyone in the class said yes.

Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table
and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped
some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of
gravel to work themselves down into the space between
the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is
the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him.
"Probably not," one of them answered.

"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and
brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the
sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left
between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked
the question, "Is this jar full?"

"No!" the class shouted.

Once again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher
of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled
to the brim.Then he looked at the class and asked, "What
is the point of this?" One eager beaver raised his hand
and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule
is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more
things in it!"

"No" the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The
truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put
the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

What are the big rocks in your life? Time with your
loved ones? Your faith, your education, your dreams? A
worthy cause? Teaching or mentoring others?

Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first, or you'll
never get them in at all.
--Author Unknown

HOW to be HAPPY

Pursue Achievable Goals

Keep Genuine Smile 

Have High Confidence in Yourself 

Coorporate and Reap Greater Rewards 

Have a few Pals 

Indulge yourself Occasionally 

Keep Cool under Pressure 

Help the Neighbors 

Surf the Net at Leisure 

Respect the Disadvantaged 

Understand Money isn't everything 

Treasure Every Moment with your love ones 

Take Calculated Risks 

Mantain Youthful 

Lighten the Atmosphere with Humor 

Forgive the Annoyance of Others 

Get along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beuatiful and the Ugly 

Share with Others 


Thanks to Lisayanti for posting those pictures in Elite Team's Mailing

The Correct Way Of Eating Fruits

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not so easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

v IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS!

v FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN IN AN EMPTY STOMACH.


If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD


Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.

In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

So please eat your fruits in an empty stomach or before your meals!


You have heard people complaining - every time I eat water-melon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat banana I feel like running to the toilet etc - actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit in an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!




Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, dark circles under the eyes all these will not happen if you take fruits in an empty stomach.


There is no such thing as some fruits like orange and lemon are acidic because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Sehlton who did a research on this matter.


If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.


When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste.

So stop making 'goreng pisang' or 'durian porridge' if you want nutrients. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.


You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body.
Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprise when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

During the fruit fast you can eat fruits, prepared in salad forms and make it more interesting.

From: Unknown Source

Three Feet From Gold

oOne of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quiting when someone is overtaken by temporary defeat. Every person is guilty of this mistake at one time or another.

An uncle of R.U. Darby was caught by the "gold fever" in the gold-rush-days, and went west to dig and grow rich. He had never heard that more gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has ever been taken from the earth. He staked a claim and went to work with pick and shovel.

After weeks of labor, he was rewarded by the discovery of the shining ore. He needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. Quietly, he covered up the mine, retraced his footsteps to his home in Williamsburg, Maryland, told his relatives and a few neighbours of the "strike". They got together money for the needed machinery, and had it shipped. The uncle and Darby went back to work the mine.

The first car of ore was mined and shipped to a smelter. The returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! A few more cars of that ore would clear the debts. Then would come the big killing in profits.

Down went the drills! Up went the hopes of Darby and Uncle! Then something happened. The vein of gold ore disappeared! The had come to the end of the rainbow, and the pot of gold was no longer there. They drilled on, desperately trying to pick up the vein again - all to no avail.

Finally, the decided to quit.

They sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars, and took the train back home. The junk man called in a mining engineer to look at the mining and do a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project had failed because the owners were not familiar with "fault lines". His calculations showed that the vein would be found just three feet from where the Darbys had stopped drilling! That is exactly where it was found!

The junk man took millions of dollars in ore from the mine because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.

From the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Mountain, Clouds, And Blue Sky

Mountains, Clouds and blue Sky are sign of the God's power, 2004

Clouds and Ternado

Ternado on May 2004

Yuliyanti 2004 

My first letter

This is my first letter, I am exciting to have my first diary online, I will write and send anything in this blog. My hobbies, my pictures, my reading book, my Business, etc. I will share with you, My friends all around the world. Hope we can share each others.